How to Get from Selfishness to either Friendship or Love, or towards Lyrism or Kitsch
Premise: Friendships = simply the sums of intersections of interests.
Maybe I'm one of the infinite ones who told that, but I'm only trying to check beliefs, as this is wanted to be an essay. Anyway, it would help for those who disregard that friendships are relationships based only on advantages to be obtained by one from each other; for those who try to over-civilise the actual meaning of true human relationships and to categorise and standardise them into books dedicated especially to good manners, do-it-like-this and don't-do-it-like-that, the Bible, ethics (a very bad-defined relative concept for me) a.s.o.
There are two sides along the barricade: extreme Christians who pretend disinterested love and disinterested friendship and the others who see any kind of human socialising as strictly depending on clear true interests. I could say there are some other people who reproach the socially/ erotically related ones with a concealed profit. And that is the ridiculous and blamable matter. Personally, I am more towards the second side. How could they doubtedly ask their selves whether his lover has an advantage of the relationship? Of course it's the sexual need which has to be satisfied, the financial safety both sometimes mixed with less and less estimated feelings. Or perhaps I'm misled not seeing that the question is on money, whether one partner wants the other's money or not. If that were the worry, then it's a matter of expressing how they conceive love's benefits in their mind. And that was only a concern that minuscule people have, as if there were two categories of humans: those who seek advantages, and those who are careless about their own lives; as if only evil minds were selfish while honourable spirits had no trajectory of life.
I once heard a teacher of logic who told us that we all are selfish, an idea that I have been quite influenced by since.
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-Ars amandi (The Art of Loving)- sung in stanzas, put on staff for millennia
At times, the abysses between us shout so heavily and loud, that some people get hurt. And our selfishness does the same and crumbles the apparent similarities that we have, making us more dissociated; finally ending up paranoids.
While we are remote universes, we tend to isolate our selves from society. Some are despairproof, some are not given a shield against life lessons by whomever force or deity you want. The latter ones might be considered they don't have enough experience.
When two abysses cross each other, one of the happiest results is lyrism, maybe all we remain with after a true relationship. From a later point in life, we notice that all those who have loved make poems. We might ask ourselves sometimes "Hmm, would grandpa create something artistic?" And we discover that this ability is rather common. It's not that popular belief about a poet who is a mad genius; they might be like that, but the most of them - trust me - are regular beings, as far as I can tell.
Kitsch vs. Art
A problem is that some people vulgarise art, reducing it to the expression of a business, like "I give something, I certainly have to receive something". Even though the equation can be reduced like this, it is actually a kitsch, like we can see out of the post 90's so-called R & B, then rap, hip hop, last, but not least - generally Balkanic jack ass manele and genres like these, where the poetry of the songs is perverted or absent; and it's no surprise they fit major audience, since they contain easy and shallow lyrics, adapted to lazy minds. How could there be art that only speaks of fame, wealth, sex, pretended respect and wisdom, foolish pride? It's mostly the same motif dressed with a more or less similar coat adapted to local (sub-)culture in order to simply be sold. And that would do for a definition.
Or there can be original artists - on the other side - that are motivated whether by money, fame, vanity, the wish to impress someone else. For instance, Tolstoi wrote for money at a certain point, some musicians compose for the sake of a beloved one (or more than one at a time, that corresponds no longer to love, you know); and it would also be a stupidity to deny that many artists start from poverty; (but that's the principle of deep art from misery - a painkiller, an eraser for those negative experiences out of the conscience).
In some other cases, people dislike showing off they are lyric or metaphysical, especially men, as they feel their selves more pragmatic.
And above these all there comes freedom: of being an introvert, an isolated freak, a so-called musician, an emo, an anonymous artist, a great poet, singer, instrument player; or just applying the principle ignorance is bliss:
Would that be a solution to an unsatisfiable knowledge?
{I don't know why I'm answering it myself or if there's going to be someone who dare [sic!] to read this. It's also just an alternative}
"Maybe" Nietzsche wasn't happier than an old country woman who has a sufficient perfect crop and her man and children close. {Well I know I have a mania to contradict many ideas and also myself, but... This also raises another giant question from a huge field of thinking: what kind of happiness are we talking about? Maybe not the religious one, but some simpler one, and if people perceive it as welfare then they don't ask their selves "hmm is my happiness what I should seek?" I'm saying this as a result of one of my recollections about echoing typical voices like "Well, if I don't have food how can I enjoy art?" which actually concretes in "You can't understand what money is" ("Tu nu stii ce-i ala ban"); though, why should we accuse those people for their way of thinking? Actually, I've been hating this type of ignorance. Instead, I'm applying the above statement in learning - and I'd apply it in teaching if it were the case - like some kind of passive tolerant acquisition of knowledge; not uninterested, but more self-planned: e.g. regarding my "efforts" of learning Catalan and Spanish I would do it like in fact children acquire them, with no teacher}
Which one do you choose?
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